Last week, I stopped looking at myself in the mirror. I don't mean staring into the mirror, searching for my soul; I mean all together, I avoid it.
I have committed to this act of bravery because I want to know Nessessary, who she is inside, not out. I want to develop my qualities inwardly and reflect them onto who and what I come into contact with, allowing others to be the mirrors I spent hours across a week gazing into out of vanity.
My sense of self has been building up in me for quite some time and I noticed that as I desired to become more aware of myself, I spent more time in the mirror. I feel this is a hindrance for me because I was constantly judging myself by standards I had learned from a dominant culture not concerned with my inner qualities. Further, this culture wants me to see myself as a whole, rather than a part of the world, connected to other necessary (Nessessary) parts.
My ongoing experiment without the mirror is teaching me that I am one with everything and all is Nessessary. I am also realizing how many items I use daily that actually contain my reflection: the frame around my laptop, vehicles, knobs on cabinets, etc. Funny how when I try to avoid something, I notice it more...
So talk to me (write to me), are you aware of how much time you spend in the mirror every day? Why do you look into it? How do you feel while gazing? What are some of your thoughts as you admire or attack your image? Is it possible or even plausible to seek your reflection via the faces of other people, animals, plants, machinery, etc.?
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
iTuned Out
As I was driving from OC to LA last week, I kept looking in my rearview, somewhat expecting to see flashing police/medic lights. I could have sworn I heard a high-pitched noise, but when I discovered there was no emergency behind me and I would not be getting harassed (I am rockin' the 'fro mind you), I relaxed some and returned back to the music in my headphones...
Perhaps I should have mentioned those first, or thought about the effect they might have on my driving. There were instances when I looked down to change the tune and if traffic had been heavier, I might have looked up and realized those medics were needed after all (though, I still wouldn't have wanted to see Johnny Law-ahem, Papito.).
Am I introverted to the point where I can no longer stand the radio and further disconnect with the world and even other drivers, just to find comfort and pleasure in my own world of tunes? I even listen to the music in my headphones while I take walks, which have increased lately (I wonder if this is due to the knowledge that I have the music to distract my exercise). How effective am I in the environment around me if I disengage constantly to seek security (a home) in my own head with little if any interaction with what's happening around me? If I can't relay what I'm thinking or feeling to the outside world, can I relate?
It's not just me, though. I strolled past a bank last week and saw a security guard standing outside, also with headphones in his ears. How effectively could he do his job of protecting the bank, its staff, patrons, and money, if he was somewhat distracted? Could he do his job at all? Was the distraction just a look to deceive others? When I came across another security guard with headphones, this time near LA Kennedy High School, I decided to ask him if I could try out one of his headphones to test the decibel level and see if anything audibly emitted. It was nowhere near as loud as what I am accustomed to.
Who else out there listens to the voices in their head (ie. headphones) about as much or more than you listen to other people in your surrounding area? Has the mass-production and increased technology related to music truly given us a "universal language" or just made it possible and acceptable for us to become less communicative?
Perhaps I should have mentioned those first, or thought about the effect they might have on my driving. There were instances when I looked down to change the tune and if traffic had been heavier, I might have looked up and realized those medics were needed after all (though, I still wouldn't have wanted to see Johnny Law-ahem, Papito.).
Am I introverted to the point where I can no longer stand the radio and further disconnect with the world and even other drivers, just to find comfort and pleasure in my own world of tunes? I even listen to the music in my headphones while I take walks, which have increased lately (I wonder if this is due to the knowledge that I have the music to distract my exercise). How effective am I in the environment around me if I disengage constantly to seek security (a home) in my own head with little if any interaction with what's happening around me? If I can't relay what I'm thinking or feeling to the outside world, can I relate?
It's not just me, though. I strolled past a bank last week and saw a security guard standing outside, also with headphones in his ears. How effectively could he do his job of protecting the bank, its staff, patrons, and money, if he was somewhat distracted? Could he do his job at all? Was the distraction just a look to deceive others? When I came across another security guard with headphones, this time near LA Kennedy High School, I decided to ask him if I could try out one of his headphones to test the decibel level and see if anything audibly emitted. It was nowhere near as loud as what I am accustomed to.
Who else out there listens to the voices in their head (ie. headphones) about as much or more than you listen to other people in your surrounding area? Has the mass-production and increased technology related to music truly given us a "universal language" or just made it possible and acceptable for us to become less communicative?
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